Wednesday, July 12, 2006

What's up with the $cientology baby?

The gossip has been flying in the last couple of days about the legitimacy, and even existence, of the TomKat baby since the creature's birth certificate was leaked to the press.

The supposed offspring of Tom Cruise, and the now-seldom-seen-and-not-looking-all-that-well-adjusted Katie Holmes has not been seen once in public since birth. And it turns out, the supposedly-happy-and-at-least-mostly-thetan-free couple never bothered to register the being's arrival on this planet. Reportedly an unidentified "friend" (INT Readiness Unit, or perhaps OSA?) showed up nearly a month after the proported new little Pre-Clear arrived on this plane of existence (well, actually California, which is somewhat near this reality) to sign (illegibly) the birth certificate.

What's up with that? What could it mean? The Chicago Tribune says the birth certificate was not signed by the attending physician at the birth, as is normal, but by a nurse who never laid eyes on the baby. "Let the conspiracy theories begin", indeed. The unidentifed OSA agent/friend of the happy couple said the baby needed a birth certificate to get a passport. I wonder where they're going? Does the Planet 10 require a visa? Or maybe they're going to Bulgravia?

Well us Proud Suppressives don't know what's going on, but we strongly suspect that if there was a normal, healthy, attractive, well-adjusted-looking mother and baby available for the Co$ to display, we would be seeing lots of pictures of Katie and the newest Servant of Xenu. So what's going on? There is no baby? Miscarriage? Maybe the baby is not related to Tom Cruise, and Co$ doesn't want people speculating why it doesn't look like him? (I'd call that one highly likely.)

We here at Proud Suppressives have well-placed agents reporting on the Minions of Miscavige, and one of those agents tells us there is indeed a contract between Katie and Tom, involving $10 million for ten years. Don't know what the document says about children, but the agent did say the baby wasn't part of the plan. (But I suppose we're not nearly so clever as those pesky SMERSH operatives.)

Which reminds us... We need to get back to that "OSA vs. KGB" comparison. If you read the history and documentation of the Co$ "security orgs", they are all but verbatim identical to the organization, objectives, and missions of the Soviet intelligence organ.

1 Comments:

Blogger Xenuphobe said...

//we strongly suspect that if there was a normal, healthy, attractive, well-adjusted-looking mother and baby available for the Co$ to display, we would be seeing lots of pictures of Katie and the newest Servant of Xenu. //


I totally agree with that. I'm not normally a conspiracy-theorist, but with this cult, I make an exception.

There is something very weird going on here with the TomKat's baby. I wonder if we'll ever know the truth.

5:16 AM  

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